Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
