fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
