why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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