I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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