i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
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I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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