Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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