The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
