At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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