Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
