He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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