Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize