I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
