I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
