Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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