Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
