she smelled like a LAN party
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
