I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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