Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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