my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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