i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's shark week go big or go home
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
