When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
