You're so nebulous sometimes
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
this will be a night to untag.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
