Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
