And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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