he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
