And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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