I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
