I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she peed on how many people?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
