How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
