Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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