I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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