Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression