Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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