you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
