I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My ass is underappreciated
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize