last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
