Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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