I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
