called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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