You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
