oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
