Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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