so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
