Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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