It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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