I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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