just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
