I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize