I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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