Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
