Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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