Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Congratulations! We have a period
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