so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
