at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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