I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize