You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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