you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
