What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
