Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
