if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
