so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
