Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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